My Roots

I just spent the weekend in Laguna visiting my relatives. The last time I went, I decided not to bring a book, and had immediately wished that I did the moment I got there. So this time, I brought a book, and guess what? I didn't read it at all.

I don't really do much when I'm there. The whole idea of going is to actually spend time with them, which I don't get to do. Because it's hard for me to communicate with them because they speak tagalog (filipino), and I absolutely suck at it. If I even try, it'll come out as absolute nonsense.

Growing up, I'm pretty sure I was fluent in it, or something to that extent. And then I think International School just slowly sucked it out of me. I was always speaking in English, that my Filipino just dissipated. Even when it comes to tv, when my dad's watching the news (in filipino), the words go into my head and gets translated into english. Seriously. So, I understand it when it's spoken, and yea, I can speak it, just not well.

And that's probably one, if not the only reason that I'm not close to my relatives. I wish I were, but it's just not like that. I've always wanted to be close to my grandparents (I only have grandmothers now), but it's never happened.

The last time I was alone with my lola (grandmother on my mom's side), she asked me about religion and why I didn't go to church. That side of the family is very religious, but when it comes to my family, we're not. At least for me, I believe in God and prayer, but I don't feel the need to practice a religion. My belief in God is enough for me.

So that's another thing.I see my cousins being close to her and to my other relatives (on that side), and I think they're close because they share the same beliefs and lifestyle among other things, which I don't share with them. My siblings and I were raised differently from my cousins, so yea, we're just different.

It's sad in some ways, but I wouldn't change how I was brought up, because I like how I am, and how we are as a family. I respect them as well as their lifestyle, but I cannot imagine myself living that way. I can't have everything, so that's how it's got to be.

I sort of lost my train of thought though, so I have to end it here.

POW!

This morning, the funniest, and most embarassing thing happened to me. I woke up bright and early (thanks to my sister), therefore I lacked sleep, and my brain was only half working. Sadly though, none of that contributed to what happened next. Half asleep, or fully awake, I would've done it, and I did.

Twice a week (for the past five years), someone comes over to the house and does our laundry. Her name is Paz. She's a small woman, short and stout (much like the teapot). I'm not trying to be mean! I'm simply trying to put a picture in your head. So anyways, I guess you don't need to know much more about her.

So! This morning, I was in my room with my sister and my brother, we were playing with baby Dylan, and the door's wide open. The bathroom's down the hall, and I see Paz pass by, and I hear the bathroom door close.

A couple of minutes later, I'm totally caught up in Dylan, and I hear footsteps coming down the hall. I pick up one of my brother's toy guns, aim it at the door, and yell "POW!!!" thinking that it was my dad. Imagine my surprise and complete embarassment when I see that it's a lady in a red house dress, staring at me, like I'm psycho.

Oh my God... she walked away, and I immediately burst out laughing, although I was completely embarassed. If you're not laughing at me or at the story, well I guess that it's just a whole lot funnier when you're there, as most things are. But Thea and I could not stop laughing our heads off (even now I'm cracking up just recounting the memory of this morning), because it was just too funny!

Count on me to embarass myself, because I do that a lot.

Randomness

Yesterday, I almost got hit by a car. Usually, when I cross the street, I look both ways, all the time, even on a one way street. But yesterday, for some weird reason, I guess I just spaced out, that I forgot, and the car stopped inches (literally) from me.

Also, the mall crowds are nauseating. It's bad enough during the weekends, but now, it's the regular weekend crowds mixed with the Christmas shoppers. They're hardly polite too. They'll bump into you and act as if it didn't happen. Sometimes, I swear I just want to push them back.

Good news, I've done more than half of my Christmas shopping. This is now officially the earliest that I've ever done my gift buying. Which is a very good thing. The fact that I have it over and done with this early, makes me feel very elated. And I won't have to mix with the pre Christmas rush and the procrastinators who leave it until the last possible minute (myself in the previous years) to get it done.

I've only got my older siblings to shop for, and I know what to get for my brother, but my sister on the other hand... She's gonna make me fry my brain. It's so weird because we're super close, and I have absolutely no idea what to give her. But I will think of something sooner or later. Hopefully, it's sooner.

Memories... Or Lack Thereof

The other day, I was cleaning up my room, and while I was cleaning up my closet (which was cluttered to the max), I found a box of memories. When I opened it, right on top, was my sixth grade class picture, which now has permanent dust stains, unfortunately. It was on top of a whole load of letters my friends and I would give each other for fun in the seventh grade (whole different class, whole different city). It was seriously my past, in a box.

So after I was done cleaning up, I sat down on my bed and went through the letters, and read them all one by one. What completely sucks is that in the letters, my friends would talk about a certain something, like, "sorry about what happened yesterday", "we're gonna have so much fun later", "I'll tell you something super important in a while", and the reason it sucks is because I don't remember any of it!

A majority of what happened that year has pretty much escaped my mind for some reason or the other. So, I've got so many letters, but I don't know what the heck we're talking about in any of them, they're so vague! But it's just as well, I guess. I don't really think I want to remember those times.

Who I was then, was a completely different person from the me, present day. I've changed A LOT, and I'm definitely gonna change some more. So yea, I just wanted to share. haha =)

Pensive Braindead

Christmas is fast approaching, and this year, I am as unprepared as I possibly could be. I must've been so wrapped up in other things (I can't even imagine what) that I haven't gotten a chance to give any thought to what to get my family members for presents. As much as I would love to shower them with amazing gifts, my (not surprisingly) tiny budget prevents me from doing so.

So my budget is divided into six. Except for my little brother, who is super vocal about what he wants, I'm clueless about what to get for everybody else. My sister mentioned that this year, she wants something that she can actually use, which is exactly what I want to do. I want to get them something that they can use everyday if they wanted to. But I just can't think of what those things possibly could be.

Last night, I thought about it pretty hard. I came up with something. It's not genious, but it's definitely a start. I really really need to get my brain together though, because the Christmas shoppers are going to be invading the malls pretty soon, and the crowds are going to drive me absolutely insane.

Woopth

I broke my glasses last night. Not the glass though (thankfully), which is actually plastic, or something. I was fixing up the dinner table, and my glasses were there, and the cover of the rice pot slipped and fell right onto it. And it just popped. I guess the screw was loose, so it just broke open.

So I give it to my dad so he can fix it, and in the process, he accidentally flung the screw (which is super tiny, by the way) with the screw driver, and it flies to a place where it cannot be found. We tried looking, but it just wasn't working.

So we go to the mall today to try and get a replacement (screw, not glasses), and I'm walking around practically blind. Seriously, everything was so blurry it was unbelievable. Thankfully, the shop was able to fix it, and the best part was, it was free!

I do want to get contact lenses though. Although the idea of sticking something into my eye is not exactly very appealing, it has its share of pros. Like, if I wanted to wear shades, it would be such a hassle to get every single pair I get graded. And when I'm trying on clothes at the mall, glasses are not very practical. Blah blah blah.

Not much else going on.

The Weekend Past

I went to visit my relatives in Laguna this past weekend. We left Friday morning, and got back Tuesday afternoon. They met Dylan for the first time. Before we actually brought him there, we were wondering what their reaction would be towards him and my sister. Being the conservative kind of people that they are, I don't think that Thea's pregnancy was something they celebrated, her being so young, and the fact that she wasn't getting married (probably the biggest shock to them).

We weren't exactly sure of what sort of reaction they were gonna express, but thankfully, when the time came for them to meet, the reactions were all good. Like I've said, Dylan has this power to make you smile and be happy no matter what sort of mood you might be in. He was a hit, they loved him.

He didn't stay there as long as the rest of us did, he and Thea left the next day. But I stayed, and it was a pretty long weekend. I wasn't exactly up for doing anything, so I ended up staying indoors the entire time. Pretty much in front of the TV, watching whatever I could, for some unknown reason. I was a TV addict the whole weekend.

We went out on November first (Monday) because it was all saints day. Correct me if I'm wrong, but is the day of the dead only "celebrated" in the Philippines? Basically, what happens is, you go to the cemetery to visit your relatives or anybody who's passed away. Bring flowers, light a candle, say some prayers.

I actually didn't want to go because the first time we ever went (the year my lolo died), it was scorching hot and the number of people was just nauseating. I don't know about you, but I hate crowds, so it wasn't exactly something I was looking forward to. Not that I don't or didn't love my lolo, and yea, I do miss him, but I just don't see the point of having to go to the cemetery and deal with things I'd rather not deal with (heat and crowds).

But I went anyway because I didn't want to be disrespectful, and my mom promised that it would be quick, and since it was reeeeaally early in the morning, it wouldn't be that hot, and the number of people would be minimal. And it was bearable, thankfully. But hanging out in the cemetery...

So the weekend was pretty laid back for me. Talk about being super lazy and having the worst case of the munchies though.