Exploring New Things

My sister signed me up for this, well... not so new, but new to me, thing. It's called My Space. And basically, it's almost exactly like Friendster. I'm sure you've heard of that. It was taking over the world. Anyways, I never joined Friendster, because, quite simply, I never wanted to. If I had, it would've felt like I had given in to the craze, and I didn't want to do that. My sister will tell you the same.

My Space is different because for one thing, it has a blog (uh-oh, you have competition). I started setting my profile up yesterday, and I don't exactly know my way around yet. I'm so new to the whole "networking" experience, I admit, I'm a little lost.

But I'm gonna try it out, see how it goes, hopefully make some friends along the way, which is the point of the whole thing. More to do online, I guess.

I'm always up for trying new things, trying to be as spontaneous as I can be. Although there's hardly anything spontaneous about My Space. But it does run the risk of making someone feel like a loser with the lack of their friend count. *points directly at self* But oh well, like I said, I'm hoping to change that, and I guess we'll see if I'm any good at this.

Randomness

Well, I thought I should write. My "psychobabble" entry has been at the top of the page for a bit too long. And nobody seems to know what the hell I'm going on about, which I must admit, was the entire point of it. What it's about, is up to you.

Not much going on around here. I've been posting over at the LPU MBs, but it's a little dead right now, so I decided to write, but unfortunately, I'm a little brain dead right now, so I can't think of what I could possibly write about. I'll think of something... Off the top of my head.

September's about to end. Christmas is not that far off. I'm actually not a Christmas person. I guess as I got older, the whole Christmas "magic" sort of disappeared. But I do remember the days when I would get so excited as the twenty fifth came closer. And I admit, it was all about the presents, and the food. I think that's what it symbolised to me.

They've actually already started playing Christmas carols. Which is completely insane, I think. Well, I guess... It's not like we have Halloween carols or anything. Thankfully, I might add.

Yea, I'm just not as excited about Christmas as I used to be. And I'm not exactly sure what changed that. Now I'm trying to think of the answer, which is pretty useless, because I honestly don't know.

Christmas used to give me this feeling. I'm not sure how to explain it, but it felt like Christmas. Do you know what I mean? And for the past few years, it sort of just disappeared, and it was nothing more to me than an ordinary day. I wonder if the feeling will ever come back, or if it's gone forever.

I used to have the same anticipation for my birthday, and I seem to have lost that as well. It just gradually became unimportant. What is that? Why is it like that? And I'm so young, so I wonder if that feeling's ever gonna come back. Or maybe, this whole "lost feeling" is just a phase?

I don't know. If you have an answer for me, I'd be glad to hear it. But that's all I have for now. So there. How's that for off the top of my head? I'll think of something better for next time.

Psychobabble

Being abandoned. It's not exactly the best feeling in the world. It was my top priority (rather stupidly) when I was younger. It made me feel secure, in a way, and when I left it, I thought that nothing would change, and I continued to cherish it. But as time went on, it's value slowly became infintesimal. I did all I could to revive it, but it eventually dissipated. It went from being visited sporadically, to non existent.

It's definitely disappointing to lose something that used to be important to me. But it's not the first time that it's happened. It'll probably happen again. But now I'm ready for it to happen again. And it won't hurt so much when it comes around.

I've learned my lesson, and I'm moving on. I thought that I really needed this, which is why I tried to keep it alive. But it's pretty useless when the effort's only coming from one end. So I don't blame myself at all, because I know I tried, I did what I could, even though it proved to be a waste of time.

So I'm letting it go, as much as I wish I didn't have to. It's a painful realisation, but it's just one of life's many lessons. And it will only get better once I accept it. And that's what I'm doing. It's what I've done. I've accepted it, I'm thankful for it, and I'm moving on.

Ditching this one, making a new bunch, setting my priorities straight. It's about time I get this right. I'll be a better person for it.

Life's lessons. Talk about a slap on the face. It doesn't go easy on you. I suggest you learn those lessons as fast as you can, so you don't have to get slapped so much. Trust me, if you're getting slapped for a lesson you've already gone through (but for some reason, chose to ignore), it hurts more.

Movies Galore

A lot of new movies are coming out all the time, and being a movie buff, I went out and watched them a lot. But lately, that's not the case. Hollywood just doesn't seem to be coming out with anything appealing to me anymore. That, and ticket prices aren't exactly as cheap as they used to be, so if I'm paying that much to see a flick, it might as well be a good one.

I think, the last good movie I saw, something that I REALLY liked, was "The Notebook". And that was even based on a book. But I guess, in its defense, they're completely different from one another. I preferred the movie to the book. If you've seen the movie (or read the book), you'll know what I mean when I say that I want a Noah. I don't think there's really anything to explain. It sort of speaks for itself. =)

I just saw "Dodge Ball". Somebody told me that it was extremely hilarious, so I went and saw it. It was okay. It was funny, but I was expecting to be laughing the whole time, which I wasn't. After I saw "Starsky and Hutch", I told myself I wouldn't watch another Ben Stiller film, because they've become overrated, unfortunately.

Before that, I saw "The Terminal". I liked it. Except for the ending. But otherwise, I liked the story, and it was entertaining, hardly predictable, and cute. Tom Hanks films, still doing good.

I guess it's not Hollywood. Maybe it's me. I've become pretty hard to please when it comes to movies. It's just that, a lot of the scripts being made into movies are just so... blah. Too many sequels, nobody can come up with anything new anymore. And then all of a sudden, a bombardment of comic books coming to the big screen. It wouldn't be so bad if they were any good. And if not comic books, then books. It's gotta be based on something, no one wants to do their own thing.

But, as you know, these are just MY opinions. Don't slaughter me if you happen to disagree.

I'm back!

I haven't had internet access for the past couple of days. Before that, I did, I just didn't have a topic as usual. I spent the last three days with my sister, helping her out with Dylan who just turned four months recently.

It definitely takes up a whole lot of energy to take care of a growing boy. He wakes up at ridiculous hours demanding to be fed, and it just takes so much patience to be able to do it. And if you're doing it practically alone, and with minimum help, it definitely takes it's toll on you.

It's not exactly easy, but my sister, she does it. Of course it's so hard not to love him, but to be able to do what she does, taking care of him, losing sleep, and everything else in between.

It's been hard being away from family, it's hard for me being away from her, but it's something that's got to be done. I'm just so proud of her. She's taken on the role of mother, and plays it out to perfection. She loves her son, he loves her back, and it's so obvious.

I really miss having her around. Spending days doing nothing at the mall, window shopping. Being lazy at home, talking about everything, being absolutely weird! Nobody else gets me like she does. It blows my mind, how we're so different, practically opposites, yet at the same time, we're identically alike.

Yes, I miss her, but Dylan needs her more than I do. And we won't be apart for much longer, if everything goes well. And when that happens, she won't have to be so alone, and we can get back to having our extremely weird moments that only we seem to get.

Happy Birthday Gio!!! =)

I can't think

Well, I said I'd write when I had time, and I have time now. But just like last time, I still have no particular subject in mind. Does anybody ever read this anyway? Aside from my sister. =) But I won't be discouraged with the lack of hits and comments. I guess, ultimately, this is just a place for me to unload.

It's just me and my dad this weekend. The rest of my family's gone to visit my relatives. I guess that'll give me some time to finally finish the book I'm reading, since I've been neglecting it all week. And clean up my room, if I get the energy to start. Just as long as I have my music on, cleaning up isn't too bad.

I find that really weird though, that I'm so OC about germs, but my room's a mess. Well, okay, it's not that messy. But it's not the neatest thing you'll ever see... But when I re-read that sentence, I totally pictured my room to have absolutely no walking space on the floor, clothes and rotting food everywhere. Which is disgusting, and there is no way my room would ever get like that.

So, okay, trying to put descriptive pictures in people's heads, not my area of expertise. Although babbling might be... have you noticed? I should probably stop before this gets any weirder. haha =)

Oh, I just had lunch at McDonald's with my older brother... I think that might've been the most time we've spent together in months. But I was glad he was there, cuz if not, I would've had to eat alone, and that would've been sad.

So there it is, my entry for the day. I'll get back to you.

BlaH

The past couple of days have been dark and rainy. I like it. They're the type of days that make you want to just stay home in your bed under your blanket.

The past couple of days have also been spent being super competitive with my brothers on the PS2. haha =)

Well, I haven't written in a while, and I just thought I'd update, eventhough I don't really have anything in particular to write about. But I'll try to take up space as best as I can.

On second thought... I really can't. I'll try to write something a little more whatever next time...